


The Long Game

by JessicaPendragon



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-22 03:23:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8270732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessicaPendragon/pseuds/JessicaPendragon
Summary: He can tell every moment of it is worth it to see the way happiness shines about her now. Cullen tells her he loves her in her own tongue, watches the pleased blush spread across her cheeks like it does every time he whispers the words, but there is an extra heat to it this time as the Fade trapped in her eyes seems to roll and pitch. 
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Cullen groans into the valley of her shoulder blades, presses kisses there when he can remember between each shallow breath and snap of his hips. His thoughts and senses are swirling together into an incomprehensible whirlpool - there is a cool breeze blowing against his back from the open balcony, but all he can really feel is the heat of her, the tight clench of her, the softness of her when he lifts up and sinks fingers into her sides. 

He won’t be able to last much longer, not with this perfect view of freckled skin, not with every little gasp that escape her lips and streaks down his spine. Cullen leans forward again and slides his hand between her thighs to gently stroke through her slick folds. Ellana bucks back into his embrace, pitches forward, thighs shivering as they try to escape his grasp, but he holds her tight. Just as he thinks he has her, her hand grips his and yanks it away.

“Ella-”

“It’s all right, just…keeping going.”

“But-”

“ _Cullen_.” She reaches back for him and he is helpless to resist. He cups her jaw and tastes the strawberries still ripe on her tongue, head swimming with each kiss they share, and it isn’t long before he’s rearing back again with a loud groan that lasts as he watches his seed dot the hollow of her back.

When they’ve cleaned up and fallen back into the sheets, Ellana snuggles close to his side, chin tucking against his collar. He draws formations against her shoulder, connecting freckles like squadrons and skirmish lines, all while his mind works on the best way to approach what could be a battle between them.

“Ella,” he begins, stuck on her name and the things he wants to say, to ask. “I’m not sure if there is a better way to say this, but when we’re together you never allow me to…” Ellana tenses and he soldiers on, not sure if he is making things better or worse. “I know that I’m not as experienced as others, but if I’m doing something wrong I hope you know you can tell me? I hope you know you can tell me whatever you need to.”

She is silent for a long time, mouth opening and closing against him on sentences that never begin. He holds her in silence, nose pressed into the crown of her head, waiting for whatever she is willing to give him even if it is nothing at all. 

“It’s not-” She finally lets out a long breath against his skin before sitting up on the bed, legs angling close. He can’t see her face through the thickness of her hair as she looks somewhere far away. “It’s not you. Cliché, I know, but the truth. I swear.”

“Then what-”

“I’ve never had one, all right?” There’s a bite of bitterness is her tone. “A-an orgasm. Not with Thea, not…not on my own. I’ve tried! It just, it feels good and then it doesn’t? All of those romance books I’ve read make it sound, I don’t know, I don’t feel  _that_. For a long time I thought-” She shakes her head and he can hear the smile she’s trying to make without seeing it. “But it doesn’t matter! Can’t miss what you’ve never had, right? I’m fine, really. If it bothers you though, I-”

He surges forward at that. “No! I only want to make you happy, Ella. I only want you to be happy. Whatever that means.”

A hand sweeps the red curls from her shoulder but he doesn’t mean to make her move - he knows she will when the time is ready. Instead he places light kisses there, rests his cheek against her cool skin, and waits like a steady tree through her quiet storm. When she relaxes and tilts her head back against his he knows the darkness has passed for the moment. 

“Is it something you want?” he asks and soothes the question with lips higher against her neck. 

After a moment Ellana shrugs. “I don’t know? Maybe? It always seems so important to everyone, like it’s the greatest thing in the world and I’m not a real person unless it happens, but what…what if I really try and I still can’t?”

“I don’t know if it’s something that can’t be done, but it doesn’t make you anything but you if that’s the case. Nothing less, not to me and not to anyone that matters. You shouldn’t think anything different either.”

She laughs a little and this time turns her head to show a real smile growing again. “That was good.”

“I’ll have you know I’m not always tongued tied.” 

“Where would I even start? I’ve never known where to look. I could never ask someone in my clan. I can’t just…I can’t walk up to someone and start talking about this! I’d be so embarrassed.” She huffs. “I shouldn’t have even told you.”

“Yes, you should have. Let me help then? Maker knows it couldn’t do anything to my reputation with the things Sera has spread about me already. I can stand a little more.”

“Really? You’d do that for me?”

He kisses the corner of her mouth. “Whatever you need.”

Finally she turns to face him fully and swings her arms around his neck, casting them back into the soft feather bed below. “And if I said I wanted a full sized chocolate statue of Andraste would you give me that too?”

“At once, Inquisitor.”

Laughter rises up her throat. For a moment she bites her lip at him, thinking, before she gives a nod. “Then, yes. It’s what I want.”

* * *

Cullen lets out a relieved sigh when his horse crosses the cobbled stone of Skyhold’s bridge even as his heart beats louder than the hooves with the excitement to see Ellana again after so long. For the last few weeks he’s been touring the Inquisition’s Ferelden encampments and keeps to check on his soldiers and, while the work is fulfilling, she is always at the edge of his thoughts. These days he finds himself thinking of other plans besides those for buildings and shipments - plans with a lake at sunset, a ring in his pocket and wood beneath his knee now that the Breach is sealed and they are both truly safe. 

He’s barely dismounted from his horse when something, someone, crashes into him, wrapping around his neck and waist like an excitable, loving sweater. “Vhenan!”

Ellana peppers his face with quick lips that he has to fight to find with his own. “Ella.”

For a few quick heartbeats there is no one else in the world, nothing else but the glowing halo of her hair and the sweet smell of flowers on her skin before she jumps down from her roost and tugs on his hand. “Come on, come on.”

Every person that tries to stop them as she leads him through the courtyard and main keep are giving a polite but firm response from their Inquisitor that has him chuckling and shrugging. When they land at the top of her tower Ellana immediately has her hands deep in his hair and body pressed against as much of his as she can. He drinks it all in, re-centers himself here in a home he never thought to find, in the bells of her laughter and the slow warming of her hands.

“This is nice,” he says. “Who do I have to thank for it?”

“I’m happy to see you, of course! And well,” she stops to giggle, nervous and giddy sounding all at once, “for other things too.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, I…I did it.” She rolls her eyes at him when he frowns, confused. “ _It_ , Cullen. Finally! Twice! Creators it was, I don’t know, and I may have bruised something the one time, but-” It is a surreal thing to congratulate someone for, but Cullen knows that their lives are anything but predictable as he lifts her up this time and showers her with affection and love. “I never thought, after so long…”

It has been a journey through many books and packages and conversations, positions that ranged from impossible to ill-advised, laughter and tears and old struggles and doubts boiling up sometimes. No matter what he has tried to be there with encouragements and silence alike, to stay away or draw closer when needed - whatever she has needed. He can tell every moment of it is worth it to see the way happiness shines about her now. Cullen tells her he loves her in her own tongue, watches the pleased blush spread across her cheeks like it does every time he whispers the words, but there is an extra heat to it this time as the Fade trapped in her eyes seems to roll and pitch. 

Ellana swings their arms wide as she takes a step back. “I don’t know how easily it’ll happen again, if I can do this all the time, and that’s okay, but I could try to show you? If you’re interested? For curiosity’s sake.”

He smirks and lets her pull him to the bed. “For curiosity’s sake, then.”


End file.
